Wading through a sea of complexity
Friday Bricolage
Greetings!
How are you doing? If you chose to open this and are reading it, please accept my deepest gratitude. There’s a lot that wants our attention at the moment and I don’t take you giving me yours for granted. Thank you.
I’m still getting my bearings here on Substack and working out how to offer what has meaning and value, stay true to my core values, and not contribute to the noise. It’s a fun challenge!
My analytics (which I only just read today) tell me that most of you are not clicking on the many links I’ve shared so, I will only share one today from Ted Goia, who talks about how to break free from dopamine culture. When I read it, as well as his previous essay about distraction, I nodded my head throughout.
Many of us are feeling and noticing the things he writes about including lack of attention span and manipulation from the corporations that are actively working to contribute to our addiction to their platforms. I love that he offers solutions since that’s my thing. My favorite part is the bit about Boy Scout merit badges and takes me back to my childhood in Bluebirds and 4-H, doing things with my hands and climbing trees or watching my son whittle a stick with his pocket knife. Read the piece here.
Now for some beauty:
Give Thyself Leisure
I’ve been re-reading Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations recently and found this wisdom from Book 2 very helpful.
IV. Why should any of these things that happen externally, so much distract thee? Give thyself leisure to learn some good thing, and cease roving and wandering to and fro.
Thou must also take heed of another kind of wandering, for they are idle in their actions, who toil and labour in this life, and have no certain scope to which to direct all their motions, and desires.
I appreciate that this powerful emperor grapples with so many of the same things we all face in our lives. My read on this quote is: Stop distracting yourself, learn something new, and don’t toil away without clear intention.
Honestly, this reminds me of my grandma urging us to stop being busy with nothing. Wisdom.
Slowing Down
Holding the complexity of life is imperative. Hanging out in places or spaces that have been over-engineered is not, including my own brain. I’ve learned to slow down.
I am very mostly patient with people but not naturally patient with objects. I’ve broken keys in locks, destroyed an entire refrigerator by trying to defrost it by breaking the ice with a sharp knife and so, so much more.
Painful mistakes.
Mistakes that have taught me to be more patient, especially with myself.
I learned a simple but valuable lesson in slowing down when I was a young mother learning how to knit. When the yarn wasn’t coming pulling through, I realized the yarn had become tangled. I resisted the impulse to pull tightly and started patiently untangling it. It look quite some time. I realize in retrospect that my patience at the time was probably fueled by oxytocin from nursing my babies. What a gift!
I don’t knit anymore but I gave myself a merit badge. ;)
Movie Recommendation
This week’s movie recommendation is Mac, the directorial debut of John Turturro about Italian-American brothers in 1950s Queens working out their place in the world and with each other. What I love is that is shows working people. Builders. People who might not have been in Boy Scouts but were earning their merit badges. It’s raw and visceral and does more showing than telling. It’s beautiful.
I don’t generally enjoy hyper-masculine films but this one is worth watching to help us remember and maybe to notice the world and the people building it. (The trailer is worth watching for the throwback VoiceOver from the 90s. hahahaha!)
Beacons
We see the characters in the film make a lot of mistakes and create suffering along the way. I read something recently that said guilt comes from making a mistake. Shame comes from believing you are a mistake. Nobody should ever feel like they are a mistake. This is such an important distinction that could save us in so many ways. It’s easier to embrace adventures, choose a good path for ourselves, and build things when we’re not afraid of making mistakes (and when we steer clear of shamers).
“I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.”
Louise May Alcott
As more of an aesthete than athlete, I am still working out what physical thing I want to do to earn a new merit badge. What I do know is I won’t be wading through a sea of complexity and endless scrolling to work it out or listening to uniformed people telling me which way to go.
I’ll be moving slowly, paying attention, listening to the quietly powerful voice within, and helping others do the same through my mentoring.
And I’ll keep experimenting over here on Substack and endeavoring to be a lighthouse when I can and look for beacons around me.
Thanks so much for reading! If you love this Friday Bricolage and want to keep it ad-free and free for all to read, become a paid subscriber or gift a paid subscription to someone you think would love it:
All my love,
Kymberlee
PS, Here’s a Chicago postcard from me to you.
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